And it came to past that our friend was paroled after having been incarcerated for acts involving mind altering substances. As a condition of parole, he had to attend "AA" meetings at regular intervals and have a card initialed to provide proof of his attendance. Given his contempt for 12 step programs in general, we decided to provide him with an alternative "AA" that better suited his needs. So was born "Assholes Anonymous".
The basic tenant of "Assholes Anonymous" meetings is that anything goes - short of physical violence. Behavior is typically abrupt, arrogant, audacious, blasphemous, bold, brash, brave, brazen, brusque, cheeky, clumsy, coarse, cocky, courageous, crass, critical, crude, curt, daring, discourteous, disdainful, disparaging, disrespectful, excessive, flamboyant, flippant, forward, garish, gauche, gaudy, glaring, glib, gross, haughty, ill-bred, imperious, impertinent, impious, impolite, impudent, impulsive, inconsiderate, indelicate, insolent, intrepid, nervy, ostentatious, outrageous, pompous, presumptuous, primitive, profane, rash, reckless, rude, rustic, sacrilegious, sarcastic, skeptical, tactless, tasteless, tawdry, thoughtless, uncouth, undiplomatic, unrefined, vulgar, and wild. Well, what do you expect from a bunch of assholes?
Those who can not handle the freedom of expression at meetings are free to exercise their own freedom of expression by leaving. Occasions like this provide fodder for discussion by the surviving assholes.
Personal expression is encouraged and judged for originally, content, timeliness, and means of expression. Non-verbal sounds resulting from bodily functions are welcomed.
Are you an asshole?You might be an asshole...
What other behaviors identify an asshole? Send us your ideas!
Sites many Assholes find amusing:
The Textual Abuse Page
Center For The Easily Amused
What constitutes an Asshole?
The International Asshole Club
The Assholes Anthology
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln
If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it. -Albert Einstein
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
Do you hear that? That's the sound of me not caring.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
You are born, eat, breathe,hear, see, piss and defecate through a hole. All your life you chase after a hole and when you are dead, they put you in a hole. So you see my friend, there is no mystery to life, life is a hole.
The future masters of technology
will have to be lighthearted and intelligent.
The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb.
-- Marshall McLuhan, 1969
- Home for the Hopelessly Unhinged -